Answered Prayers
by NettieC
Summary: Harm can't eat, can't sleep and is struggling to come to terms with his mother's condition.So,with heavy hearts, he and Mac head to La Jolla for Christmas.
1. Chapter 1

**_AN: Not mine - and all that jazz. This story stands alone and is not a part of any series._**

**_Answered Prayers_**

Away for three weeks, Mac noticed Harm's change in demeanour the moment she returned midafternoon one Thursday. Engrossed in his own fog, Harm didn't notice his favourite marine standing in the bullpen watching him enter his office. Just as she was about to follow she was summoned to Cresswell's office and while she briefed her CO with the professionalism expected of her rank and experience, her mind was in another office not too far away.

When Cresswell concluded the meeting and dismissed her for a three-day weekend, Mac headed straight for Harm's office only to be stopped by Jennifer.

"You won't find him there, ma'am," she said quietly, stopping Mac in her tracks. "He secured for the weekend."

"Already? On a Thursday?" she asked, checking the wall clock just in case her internal clock was off. No, she was right, it was only 1538.

"Yes, ma'am, he has taken a personal day for tomorrow," Jennifer replied. "And, ma'am..." she started before stopping.

"Yes, Petty Officer?" Mac prompted when nothing else was said.

"May we speak in your office please, ma'am?" she asked and then followed when Mac nodded and lead the way.

Once in the office, Jennifer closed the door behind her and then took a deep breath.

"Permission to speak freely?" she asked, before relaxing when Mac nodded. "Ma'am, I know you and the Commander have been closer of late...you both asked me to keep your new relationship to myself and I have. And the Commander has often told me to mind my own business...and I am trying...honestly I am."

"Just spit it out, Jen," she said, eager to hear what was on her mind.

"Harm hasn't been himself for the past couple of weeks," she said quietly. "Mattie called me and said she was worried about him but couldn't come visit because of exams, I told her not to worry as I'm sure Harm was fine...but I don't think he is."

"Has anything happened in the past few weeks that I'm not aware of?" Mac asked, now desperate to leave and go to him.

"Nothing work-wise, Mac," she replied. "I think it's something to do with his parents."

"What makes you say that?" she asked, picking her bag and cover up.

"I went over last week to borrow some flour and I heard him talking to his stepfather," Jen reported, "So, I went back later on and I'm sure he'd been crying. I tried to ask him about it, to offer some support but he was pretty unresponsive."

"Okay," Mac said with a nod. "I might just..."

"And another thing," Jennifer continued, hoping she wasn't going to get into trouble for saying too much. "He hasn't been eating or drinking enough. I don't think I've seen him touch anything here at the office for the past two weeks. I've tried to bring him coffee and Bud's tried to give him some of Harriet's cookies but he has refused."

Mac nodded again, he hadn't looked the best when she had seen him briefly.

Going home first, Mac had changed, packed a bag for the weekend, stopped by Sushi, Sushi, Sushi to pick up a range of his favourites before picking up a few more of his favourites from the grocery store. Knocking on his door, Mac was surprised when the door opened without force, the latch not having caught.

Dropping her own belongings inside the door, Mac bumped the door closed before crossing the room and depositing the shopping on the counter. Putting the sushi and perishables in the fridge, Mac left the rest on the bench and headed to the bedroom. There she found her sailor lying face down, diagonally across the bed, still in uniform, still wearing his shoes. Kicking off her trainers, Mac crept up alongside him and propped her elbow on a pillow before stroking his head.

"Missed you," Harm said, turning his head to face her.

"Missed you too," she replied, her fingers raking through his hair.

"Glad you're here," he said sadly.

"Glad I'm here too," she replied quietly. "Do you realise your door wasn't locked?"

"No," he said with an attempt of a shrug.

Mac leant forward and kissed his head. Desperate to know what was happening with him, desperate to take away the pain shining in his eyes Mac resisted asking questions, wanting him to talk on his own terms.

Harm took a deep breath before letting it out in a long sigh. "I really missed you," he said as a tear rolled down his face.

"Oh, honey," she said, shifting over and wrapping him up. "Come here."

For a long while they just lay there and Mac was almost sure Harm had fallen asleep until his stomach growled loudly and he gave a half-hearted chuckle. "Usually that's you."

"When's the last time you ate properly, Harm?" she asked, pulling back and studying his face.

"Lunch," he replied but when Mac raised an eyebrow he amended his answer. "Lunch yesterday."

"Come on then," she said trying to sit up but Harm wasn't ready to let her go just yet. Realising the issue she lay back down. "I am planning to spend the whole weekend here holding you if that's what you want, but I really want you to eat something for me...and drink something too."

"Okay," he conceded and let her go.

"You change into something a little more comfortable," she said as she scooted off the bed. "If we're going to spend lots of time cuddling together I don't need to be jabbed by all your pointy things."

Harm turned to face her. "Before you left on assignment you said you enjoyed being jabbed by my pointy thing," he said, raising an eyebrow.

"And I did, very much," she replied with a grin, glad to see a spark of humour in him. "And whenever you feel like it, I wouldn't object to being jabbed again."

By the time Harm appeared in the kitchenette, Mac had placed an assortment of sushi on one platter and was cutting up some fruit for another. Looking up, she smiled at the blue with white polka dot fleecy pyjamas he was now wearing. They had been a gift from Mattie and while he had never worn them before, preferring to sleep in as little as possible, he figured it was a cosy fabric and might encourage Mac to hold him a little closer.

"A present from Mattie," he said before she made comment.

"Very cute," she replied. "Now, do you want to sit at the table or on the sofa?"

"Table," he said before grabbing the napkins and the sushi platter. "All my favourites."

"I know," she replied. "Thought it might entice you to eat."

"It will," he replied as Mac joined him at the table with plates and bottles of water.

As Harm turned to collect the second platter, Mac stopped him and wrapped her arms around his neck. "In case you've forgotten or I haven't said it recently, I love you, Harm." She kissed him tenderly before using her thumb to swipe away the lipstick which remained on his lips.

"Love you too," he replied with a weary smile. "So much."

It was an hour later as they lay entwined on the sofa that Harm decided to broach the subject which was troubling him. He was just having trouble finding the words to start the conversation.

"I thought you would have asked by now," he commented as he raked his fingers through her hair.

"I want to ask...I want to know," Mac said without looking up at him. "I just don't want to pressure you."

"I want to tell you...I'm just having some trouble finding the words..." he admitted. "Because I know that once I actually say it it becomes real...and ...I don't want it to be..."

Moving to prop herself up on his chest, Mac gazed at him. "Honey, just take a breath and tell me..."

When Harm finally began to talk the words came rushing out. He told her of a disagreement with Frank when he was in La Jolla in March when he expressed his concerns about his mother's state of mind. Frank had told him, in no uncertain terms, that seeing his mother once a year and making the odd phone call didn't give him the right to express such concerns. This was then followed by a phone call from Frank in May apologising. It seemed he had had concerns himself and just wasn't ready to accept his wife was showing signs of dementia.

With work being very busy and trips home not possible. Harm and Frank had had frequent phone communication over the past six months and things seemed to be going alright for the most part.

"So, what's happened in the past few weeks to have you in this state, Harm?" Mac asked gently.

"Frank called to say I should come for Christmas and New Year as mom had deteriorated since last Christmas and he wasn't sure what state she'd be in next Christmas," he replied as his tears began to roll. Then I felt really bad that we'd gotten leave for this festive season and I had planned on our vacation ...not of going to see mom. I guess I was trying to convince myself that if I didn't go, then nothing would have changed. I mean the thought of going there and her not recognising me is...I couldn't bear it."

"She's not at that stage yet, is she?" Mac asked, her eyes never leaving his.

"No, no...she knows who I am when we speak...just doesn't remember certain things...like what we talked about last time, what I've been doing," he said sadly.

"Then Frank is right, you need to spend time with her," she said as she caressed his face.

"I know," he said with a nod. "But I'm sorry it leaves you at a loose end..."

"What loose end?" she asked. "I still plan on spending my entire leave with you and if that's in La Jolla and not in the Cayman Islands then so be it," she added before amending her response."Unless I'm not welcome...I don't want to intrude."

"Oh, Mac," he cried. "You'd be more than welcome...you wouldn't be intruding...I really want you to be there...be with me...it just wouldn't be the romantic vacation I promised you."

"I don't care," she replied, pushing up to kiss him. "So long as we're together, I don't care where we are...and I want to be there for you..."

"Are you sure?" he questioned, not wanting her to change her mind but needing to ask.

"I am," she replied. "It's not going to be easy for you and I would feel a lot better about it if I was there to hold and kiss you whenever you need it."

"I need it now," he whispered.

In the following four weeks, Harm and Mac concluded their work commitments and completed their Christmas shopping. As they were flying west on the 24th, Harriet held a special dinner for them on the 23rd and they got to share some Christmas joy complete with children, presents and decorations.

"Thanks, Uncle Harm," AJ said, holding up the remote controlled fighter jet he had just unwrapped, "You had to choose this!"

"Actually, it was Aunty Mac," he replied, glad Mac had volunteered to do all the shopping, his Christmas spirit seriously waning this year.

"Oh, cool, thanks, Aunty Mac," he said, turning to hug her.

"You're welcome, AJ," she replied with a smile. "I'm glad you like it, it's getting harder and harder to know what to get you."

"I'd love anything you get me," he said simply, reflecting the values instilled in him by his parents.

It was an early night as the children still had school the following day and Bud had one more day before he secured for the holidays. With an early flight, they had spent the night at Mac's with their luggage by the door.

"Tossing and turning isn't helping is it, honey?" Mac said as Harm moved for the fourth time in five minutes.

"Sorry," he said, turning to face her. "Didn't mean to disturb you."

"It's alright," she said sitting up. "How about I get us some hot chocolate and we curl up on the sofa and watch something?"

"No, it's fine," he said shaking his head. "I'll go to sleep...honest."

"Harm, let's face it, you're too edgy to sleep and I'm not going to sleep when you're so unsettled," she said. "So, rather than pretend everything's alright, let's go do something else."

"Are you always right?" he asked, leaning forward to kiss her.

"Yep," she said with a grin. "You should know that by now."

Harm opted to make the hot chocolate while Mac decided on something to watch. Carrying the tray into the living room, Harm found Mac already on the sofa, the gas faux fireplace on but the television still off and soft jazz emanating from the stereo.

"Figured your mind wouldn't be on anything we watched so we may as well listen to music and watch the flames," she said, pushing the throw rug of her and swinging her legs back to the floor so she could sit and drink her hot chocolate. "Ooh, cookies too."

"I learnt long ago that food is the way to your heart," he said, sitting alongside her.

"You don't have to worry about food, Harm," she said caressing his face. "You already have my heart."

Smiling lovingly at her, he couldn't help but quip; "Does that mean I can cancel the year subscription I got you to Chocolates of the World?"

"Not on your life," she replied leaning in to kiss him.

While the subscription had been for Christmas with the first delivery due in January, the company had sent the first delivery the week before and ruined the surprise.

"I think it's the best present I've ever received...a year of chocolate!" she enthused. "What more could a girl want?"

"Me?" he said quietly.

"I already have you," she said pushing up to kiss him once more. "Don't I?"

"Definitely," he replied. "You definitely have me...forever!"

"Good," she said, picking up her mug and a cookie before settling alongside him.

When the mugs were empty and the cookies gone, Mac found herself in a tighter than usual embrace. Looking up at Harm she found his eyes closed and realised he probably wasn't even aware of his grip. Slowly, she shifted until she found a comfortable spot and it wasn't too long before they ended up horizontal.

"I know I haven't been a good son," Harm said quietly, not knowing if Mac was still awake. "As a kid I was preoccupied with my dad, as a teenager I was angry and as an adult I've made work my priority and not her," he said. "She phones me at least once a week...or she did before this year...Has visited me here at least a dozen times and I can count on one hand the number of times I've initiated contact in recent years."

Mac gently rubbed his chest but didn't speak.

"I love her so much but don't remember the last time I actually told her when it wasn't the final line of a phone call," he continued. "I am grateful for all she has done for me but I don't think I ever told her how grateful I was."

"There's still time, Harm," she said quietly. "Still time to tell her just how you feel."

"I know," he said with a sniffle. "But I feel if I do it now, it will kind of be like saying goodbye and I'm not ready for that."

"No one ever is, honey," she replied. "If your mom has declined, as Frank has indicated, she's just going to love hearing you say it. She's not going to understand the timing of it."

"But I know," he said with another sniffle.

"I know," she agreed, "But this time it has to be about your mom and not you. Lots of people don't get the chance to say these things...to say goodbye..."

"I don't want to say goodbye," he said. "I'm not ready for it."

"I know," she said before holding him closely and crying with him.

It was with heavy hearts they flew west and while everyone and everywhere was filled with Christmas cheer, Harm couldn't bring himself to enjoy any of it. Arriving at the family home, Harm pulled the rental car into the driveway before bracing his arms on the wheel and taking a few deep breaths.

"I love you, Harm," Mac said rubbing his back. "Whatever happens, however it goes, I am here for you, for now and forever."

"Love you too," he replied taking her hand. "And I'm very thankful you're here."


	2. Chapter 2

**_AN: Not mine - and all that jazz. _**

**_Please see additional AN at the end._**

**_Answered Prayers Part 2/3_**

When the door to the Burnett home was opened, Harm was struck by what he found. The tree was up and decorated, unlike his or Mac's place which were devoid of Christmas decorations. The living room was adorned with festive cheer and an assortment of cards stood upon the mantel.

"Harmon! You're here! You're finally here for Christmas, it has been so long," Trish said embracing him tightly.

"Hello, mom," he said dropping the bags in his hands to hold her. "You're looking well."

"And Sarah, beautiful, beautiful, Sarah," she enthused, moving quickly to Mac. "So glad to see my son has finally come to his senses."

Harm shook his head, last month, when he had mentioned Mac, his mother had said she'd like to see 'him'.

"Mrs Burnett," Mac said. "Thank you for..."

"It's Trish or mom...none of this Mrs Burnett rubbish," Trish said, leading her into the house. "Now, darling, make yourself at home and I'll get you some lunch."

"We're not ready for lunch..." Harm started but Trish had already disappeared.

Turning to Mac, Harm looked at her. "That's not what I was expecting," he said quietly. "If I had to describe her I'd have to say 'hyper' more than anything else."

"And you'd be right, son," Frank said, coming down the stairs before embracing the newcomers. "One of the side effects of her new medication is she can be a little over the top, especially when she's already excited."

"When I spoke to you last month, I thought I'd be coming here to talk about investigating care facilities. Mom definitely doesn't seem to need one, so what's going on?" he asked but Trish burst back through the door before Frank could answer.

"Come, come," Trish said grabbing Mac's arm. "Time to eat."

"Harm, perhaps if Sarah could spend time with your mom this afternoon, we can have a chat and I'll update you," he said. Harm nodded; any further conversation impossible as his mother reappeared and all but dragged him to the dining table.

Lunch was a whirlwind affair with Trish loading their plates with a range of food, talking rapidly and asking questions without waiting for a full response. When she had gotten up from the table to prepare the coffee, Harm leant over to Mac.

"I know it's asking a lot but do you think you could take mom for a walk along the beach after lunch so I can talk to Frank," he whispered and Mac nodded.

"None of this whispering," Trish admonished. "Haven't I taught you better?"

"Yes, ma'am," he said sitting back in his chair. "Sorry."

It took a lot of persuading to get Trish to go for a walk with Mac while the men said they would clean up. First she said they should all go, and then she argued she should do the dishes. Then she tried to get Harm to go with Mac, telling him it would be romantic. Finally, Harm pulled his mom aside.

"Look, mom," he said quietly. "I appreciate what you're trying to do but, while Mac's out, I want to finalise her Christmas present. She could go by herself but..."

"I'll go with her..." Trish interrupted. "We can talk about you!" And with that Mac was all but pushed out the door and they were gone.

As Frank washed the dishes and Harm dried, he started to speak.

"When I told you we'd need to discuss care facilities, I honestly thought that's what we needed to do," he said, his eyes focused on the sink. "But then when you called your mom and told her you were coming for Christmas things changed."

"What changed?" Harm asked picking up another plate.

"Well, for one, she was excited by the news...she hasn't been excited by anything in months," he reported. "I thought it was a good thing but that she'd forget about it in the following days but she didn't. She started making plans...writing lists...You saw her yourself in March, she really wasn't engaging in anything, so this was a big change."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Harm asked, glancing at his stepfather.

"I didn't know whether it meant anything and really didn't think her interest would last," Frank said honestly. "And I didn't want to give you false hope. Then three weeks ago I was talking to Bill Rodgers, do you remember him?" Harm nodded; Bill had been a business partner of Frank's for years. "I was telling him about the change in Trish and he told me his son's father-in-law had been misdiagnosed with dementia a couple of years ago and that it turned out to be depression. He got me the name of the psychiatrist who identified the depression and I contacted him."

Harm stood still, his full attention on Frank.

"I told him about your mom, he contacted her doctor. A couple of long appointments, tests and a medication regime and your mother is a different person," Frank said as he leant back against the cupboard and looked at Harm.

"So, she was just depressed? Really? Depression can be misdiagnosed as dementia? Doesn't seem feasible," Harm said, trying to take this news in.

"Apparently one in three people diagnosed with dementia is actually misdiagnosed,**" he reported. "Yeah, surprised me too," he added when he saw Harm's face. "An MRI showed that your mom had a few mini-strokes, most likely at the start of the year, which would have impacted on her health and sense of wellbeing, the depression most likely started there and when we started talking about her decline and the doctor labelled it dementia, she deteriorated further, which is understandable."

"Oh god," he said before embracing Frank. "That's the best news I've heard in a long time."

"Me too, son, me too," he said as he patted Harm's back. "Once the psychiatrist said it was depression, she was so relieved she cried for the next three hours."

Harm's own eyes teared up at the thought of what his mom had been through and then he thought of the toll it would have taken on Frank.

"Thank you for being there for her, Frank," he said, hugging him once more.

"I wouldn't be anywhere else," he said, kissing Harm's head when he realised Harm was crying. "Now, while this is all good news," he added. "Trish is still under the care of the psychiatrist. As you can tell, while she's not withdrawn, forgetful or disengaged, there are still a few challenges." Harm nodded as he wiped his face. "But, I'll tell you, I'd rather her like this than she was."

"Me too, Frank, me too!"

They fell into a comfortable silence as they finished their kitchen chores and, just as Frank declared it a wrap, he spied the women walking back towards the house.

"Son, you might want to go up and wash your face and take a breather before you see your mom," he suggested pointing out the window.

Harm agreed and quickly disappeared up to the guest room.

Coming in the back door, Trish was still talking a million miles an hour and Frank had to wonder if Mac had managed to get a word in at all. Deciding to give her a break, he spoke.

"Sarah, you must be exhausted after your trip today and late night last night," he said, patting her arm. "And as we plan on going to midnight service, why don't you follow Harm's lead and take a nap?"

Having needed the bathroom since lunch and ushered out the door on her walk before she had a chance to use it, Mac had summoned up her marine training to ignore the growing pressure, made worse by the pounding of the waves on the beach. Racing up the stairs as best she could, Mac entered the guest room and headed straight for the bathroom, finding Harm leaning over the sink splashing water in his face; it didn't help matters in the least.

"Harm, I want to talk about it all, I really do," she said wanting to reach out and hug him but knowing a return hug could result in a puddle. "But if I don't use the bathroom I'm going to burst."

Harm laughed and stood up. "I thought marines were made of sterner stuff."

"We are," she said, moving past him. "And as soon as I'm done here I'll prove it to you."

"I think..." he began before Mac turned back to him.

"You can either leave or watch me," she said as she unbuttoned her jeans. "Either way I'm using this toilet now."

Never having been in a bathroom when a woman was using the facilities or having one there when he was, Harm wasn't going to start now and quickly conceded. "I'm going. I'm going," he said throwing his hands up but he couldn't resist turning the faucet on full blast as he walked by the basin.

"Bastard!" Mac muttered, fearing she was about to wet herself for the first time since she was about three.

Returning to the bedroom a few minutes later, Mac found Harm lying on the bed, his arms behind his head, his eyes closed and a soft smile on his face.

"That was really mean," she said, kicking off her shoes and climbing in beside him.

"I know," he agreed rolling towards her. "I just couldn't help myself."

"I'm just glad to see you happy," she said reaching forward and kissing him. "So, good news about your mom?"

"Better than expected news about mom and then you crawled into bed with me," he said caressing her face. "No need for Santa tonight, I have everything I wished for!"

Mac kissed him once more before settling alongside him and listening to Harm's recount of the conversation with Frank.

"Well, I'd say we got our Christmas miracle, wouldn't you?" she asked him after he'd been quiet for a few minutes. When she looked up she realised he'd fallen asleep and she smiled; he hadn't slept properly in a long time.

Mac hadn't intended to fall asleep and then, when she realised it was inevitable, hadn't planned on sleeping too long. However, it was nearly four hours later when she awoke to the sound of the door opening.

"Hey, Frank," she said quietly, Harm still asleep in her arms.

"Hey, Sarah," he replied. "Just wanted to let you know that dinner is in an hour and, if you don't make an appearance soon, Trish will be up to drag you down there."

"Thanks for the heads up," she said, "We'll be down shortly."

Once Frank had departed, Mac wriggled down in the bed and the friction of their bodies and an unawareness of where he was had Harm's mind and body going down a different track to Mac's.

"No, no," she muttered as his hand disappeared under her top, his thumb caressing her nipple.

"Yes, he mumbled as his lips found hers and kissed her deeply. "Maaac," he moaned when she pulled back.

"Harm," she said, trying her hardest to resist his advances. "Got to get up."

"Getting there," he murmured. "Just give me a minute..." he added, thrusting against her.

"No, Harm, we've got to get ready," she insisted tilting her head as he kissed a trail along her throat.

"Ready for you anytime," he replied as sucked on her pulse point.

"Harm! Your mom..." Mac began.

"Mom?" he queried before his eyes opened, "La Jolla. We're in La Jolla, aren't we?" he asked when his thoughts crystallised.

"That's right," she replied. "And we're expected downstairs."

"Damn!" he muttered rolling off her. "Just when things were getting interesting."

"Well, if you're a really good boy, then, after services, maybe Santa Claus won't be the only one coming tonight," she whispered.

Harm grinned; this was by far his favourite Christmas ever and the day itself hadn't even arrived.

It was a little before midnight before the family entered St Joseph's Church. With seating at a premium, they stood at the back, Mac standing in front of Harm, his arms wrapped tightly around her.

"Love you," he whispered before kissing her head.

"Love you too," she replied craning her neck to kiss him back.

Then the choir began with 'Oh Come All Ye Faithful' and time for chatter was replaced with worship.

Although Harm was focused on the service and on Mac, he was also aware of his mother. Surprised she was quiet and sedate; he had to wonder what was really going on with her. This version of her was what he would consider 'normal' and it was vastly different from the hyper woman he had been watching all evening.

"She seems like her old self," Mac whispered as Harm's chin rested on her shoulder.

"Thinking the same thing," he replied scanning his mother.

"That's good, isn't it?" she asked when she sensed his hesitance.

"Yeah, but..." his voice trailed as his mother turned and shushed him, she was definitely like her old self.

On the trip back to the house, Trish sat with Mac in the back seat and Mac expected a barrage of questions but there was only one; "What would you like to eat when we get home, dear?"

Shaking her head, Mac replied, "Oh, I'm still full from dinner. I don't think I could..."

"Nonsense," Trish interjected. "I'll make you supper."

Upon their return, Mac helped Trish in the kitchen to allow Harm to catch up with his stepfather.

"Mom's acting more like herself," he commented as Frank turned the Christmas tree lights on.

"I know," he agreed. "There are times like this when it makes me wonder if I'm imagining all the other behaviours."

"Well, you're not because I see them too," he replied with a sigh.

"This is a new thing...happens mainly at night...I'm thinking it's related to the medication or the lack of medication in her system at this time of the day," Frank said, one eye on the doorway in case they were disturbed.

"If she's like this without medication then why is she medicated at all?" Harm questioned, watching the same doorway.

"Because it is the medication that is bringing her out of that deep depression," he said. "And for that I'll be eternally grateful. Her specialist said it would take a while to find the right doses before things would stabilise," he reported rubbing his hand over his face.

Harm was going to say something else but catching the look on Frank's face he changed his mind.

"I promise I'm going to be a better son," he said before moving to stand in front of his stepfather. "A better son to mom and to you." He then hugged him tightly.

Meanwhile, in the kitchen, Mac was dancing around the same topic. Having only met Trish on a couple of occasions previously, she wasn't too sure what she could and couldn't say. Trish took the lead.

"I'm sure you're thinking you're getting a mother-in-law who's insane," she said, placing the sandwich points on a platter. "But I'm not."

"I know you're not," Mac agreed. "You've just had a really difficult year."

"I have," Trish said with a nod. "I hadn't been feeling myself and was feeling quite low...I'm nearing 70, and a few of my friends or their spouses passed away. I was starting to think my life was over and things declined from there." She stopped to arrange another group of sandwiches. "I wasn't interested in much, forgot a few things, stopped going out, stopped seeing people...Then my doctor said 'dementia' and I was devastated...I just felt empty. I guess after that I gave up...my life was over...and rather than make the most of the time I had left I withdrew."

"I can understand that," Mac said, taking her hand. "It's self preservation."

"Exactly," Trish agreed. "I could hear Frank telling me everything would be alright but I didn't believe him. I love him dearly, he really is a wonderful man, but all I could think of was Harm and how poor a mother I had been."

"What would make you think that?" she asked, tears pooling in her chocolate eyes.

"I couldn't protect him from the hurt of his childhood, couldn't calm his anger as a teen. I never seemed to be enough for him. I never saw him married, never saw grandchildren...never saw him often enough...for all intents and purposes we were just two people who once knew each other," Trish said as tears of pain rolled down her cheeks.

"Oh, Trish," she said embracing her. "Harm loves you so very much. He feels bad about not being a better son but you both have to realise the loss of his father, your husband, was something beyond either of your control."

Trish nodded as she held Mac tightly.

"But you still both have one another," she continued. "And you shouldn't waste this opportunity."

"You are a beautiful person, Sarah," Trish said stepping back and patting Mac's face. "It's no wonder my son adores you. One thing though..."

"What's that?" Mac asked with some trepidation.

"Before, when I mentioned about me being your mother-in-law, you didn't correct me," she commented. "Is there something I don't know?"

"No," Mac said with a smile. "Harm and I have not discussed marriage yet...but, from my perspective, there is no one else for me...there's no one else I want."

"Good," she said, rubbing Mac's back.

"Trish, can I ask something?" she questioned before she lost her nerve. When Trish nodded she proceeded. "Tonight you seem like yourself...definitely not as 'active' as you were earlier...if anything you are a little more subdued...sedate."

"And you're wondering why?" Trish asked and Mac nodded. "It's the medication. When it is waning in my system I feel like me and the first time it happened I didn't want to take it again...I thought I was all cured. So, I skipped the next two doses and could really feel myself disconnecting from the world. It was a very surreal feeling. It's only early days yet and I have a long road back. I'm sure there will be many highs and lows but I can't begin to tell you the difference not having the 'dementia' diagnosis over my head makes. I may still be diagnosed with it later on but, for now, it's a reprieve and I am just so thankful."

Mac hugged her once more and it was while they were embracing Harm entered the kitchen.

"Everything alright?" he asked, slipping an arm around each woman.

"Everything's fine, Harmon," Trish said kissing his cheek.

"Sure is, Harmon," Mac agreed, kissing him too.

_**-.-answered prayers -.-**_

_AN: **The 1 in 3 statistic jumped out at me when I was reading an article recently and it lead me to thinking about those I know with dementia or the early signs of it. One person in particular stood out as being like Trish. All the 'signs' were there and the family were beginning to think of facilities for her. She had been widowed five years ago, had a daughter who lived interstate, a son who was unmarried and lived across town and didn't feel he could care for her. Anyway, long story short, by chance she came across a stray dog who seemed to adopt her and things turned around. She was looking after him, cooking special food for him (when she hadn't been cooking / feeding herself), was taking him for short walks etc. Back to the doctor, referral to a psychologist for grief counselling, anti-depressants and twelve months later, she is a new woman with a busy life and her health restored. Alas, this isn't the way it is for many people and the decline into dementia is terrible for the person, and heartwrenching for the family. But, as it's Christmas, I went with the story which gives hope and second chances._


	3. Chapter 3

**_AN: Not mine - and all that jazz._**

**_Answered Prayers Part 3/3_**

Crawling into bed a little before two, after Frank insisted everyone needed sleep, Harm settled against Mac and sighed deeply.

"You okay?" she asked, running her hand under his tee.

"Yeah, just exhausted," he said with a sigh. "Mentally and physically."

"I know," she agreed, kissing his forehead. "How about you curl up with me and get some decent sleep for a change?"

Harm nodded before edging down in the bed. "I really wanted to have a talk with mom but Frank was right, it was time for bed. She was looking as tired as I felt."

"You'll have plenty of time to talk while we're here." Mac reminded him.

"I know, but I wanted to talk to her while she was ...a bit more..." he began but then stopped.

"Herself?" she offered and Harm nodded. "Just catch her later in the day and it will be fine. Anyway, I think she really wants to talk to you too."

Mac was just drifting off when she felt a peppering of kisses on her face.

"Harmmmm," she murmured trying to shift away.

"I was a very good boy tonight," he said proudly with a grin and Mac opened one eye.

"Were you just?" she replied quirking an eyebrow.

"Yep," he replied. "And you said something about coming..."

"And you said something about being exhausted..." she reminded him.

"Not for you...never for you."

It was a slow and easy love making session, both fatigued, both aware there were others in the house. Neither was in much of a rush and while pleasant, it wouldn't go down in history as the most memorable.

That was in stark contrast with the following morning when Mac awoke. Usually, she started the day with a run and she thought a run along the beach would make a lovely change from pounding the pavements back home. Then she thought that maybe she'd go downstairs and turn on the Christmas tree lights and see if Santa had been, just as she used to do when she was a child.

Pulling on her nightgown, then Harm's robe, Mac tiptoed downstairs; very excited about her first real family Christmas in forever. Switching on the tree lights, Mac was surprised by the number of gifts not there the night before. Figuring it was Frank, as Harm hadn't moved, she couldn't help but smile. After all he had been through this year; he had still focused on Christmas for his family.

Moving over to the sofa, Mac was surprised to find a few lumps in her Christmas sack. Trish had put out Harm's boyhood one, despite his protests, then had put out a brand new one with 'Sarah' on it just before Frank had sent everyone to bed. Mac had considered it a very kind gesture but hadn't expected to find anything in it. Dipping her hand in, Mac retrieved the smallest lump and found it was a ring box.

Both stunned and excited, Mac opened it to find the most beautiful sapphire and diamond encrusted setting. Slipping the ring from its velvet home, Mac's heartbeat accelerated wildly. She knew she was looking at an engagement ring, her engagement ring. Slowly she slipped it onto her left ring finger and grinned when she realised it was a perfect fit.

Glancing down at the sofa and the remaining lumps, Mac decided the only thing in the sack she wanted was Harm. As it was still early and the house still quiet she raced back upstairs.

"Mmmac," he murmured as she climbed on top of him.

"Merry Christmas, Harm," she whispered before kissing him tenderly.

"Merry Christmas to you too, sweetheart," he replied when he had the chance. "Thank you for being here with me this Christmas."

"Thank you for letting me," she replied, kissing along his jaw.

"All those years we spent Christmas together this is what I had hoped for...this sort of togetherness," he admitted, his hands stroking her back.

"Yeah, me too," she acknowledged. "Perhaps we should have just put a bed under the mistletoe and gotten on with it."

Harm laughed; he'd thought the same thing over the years. "Well, all that's in the past," he said, kissing along her collarbone. "From here on in we'll have every Christmas together."

"I like the sound of that," she replied, kissing down his chest.

"Where'd you disappear to?" he asked as he tried to pull her nightgown over her head.

"To see if Santa had been," she replied, reluctantly moving from him to allow her clothing to be removed.

"And had he?" Harm asked, catching sight of the ring on her finger.

"He had," Mac replied, showing him her new piece of jewellery.

"Well, well, well," Harm said taking her hand and inspecting it. "You must have been a very good girl to get something so special."

"I'd like to think I was," she replied, smiling at the ring.

"And is there a significance in the finger you've put it on?" he questioned seriously and Mac looked at him curiously.

"It's an engagement ring...isn't it?" she asked hesitantly.

"It looks like one," Harm observed, inspecting the ring closely. "So, does this mean you're engaged?" Mac nodded. "To whom?"

Mac slipped onto her side of the bed and sat cross legged, facing him. This wasn't how she expected things to go. Feeling a sudden chill, she wrapped the sheet around her.

"Oh," she said, shaking her head, a bit confused. "I thought...well, I figured it was from you...I mean who else would it have been from. Didn't you put it there?"

"I haven't been out of bed all night," he said, sitting up and leaning back against the bed head.

"Oh, then I guess it must have been from Santa," she said as she slipped off the ring.

"What are you doing?" he asked, watching her every move.

"Well, Santa Claus is already married, so if he left it for me, it's hardly an engagement ring," she replied as she climbed out of bed before swapping the sheet for her robe.

"Where are you going?" he asked as she neared the door.

"To put this back," she replied waving the ring. "Maybe this is just all an embarrassing dream..."

Springing out of bed, Harm made it to the door in two strides.

"Hang on," he said, taking the ring from her. "I think it looked pretty perfect where it was," he said as he tried to slip it onto her finger once more; she wouldn't let him.

"Yeah, except that you didn't give it to me, so it's really not..." she started but stopped when Harm started laughing. "What?"

"You're right, I didn't give it to you but it is from me," he said with a chuckle, still holding onto the ring.

"But you said you didn't put it there," she said, not seeing the humour at all.

"I didn't," he said wrapping his arms around her. "I asked Frank to do it for me."

"So, this whole exercise was what? Just designed to make me feel stupid? Ruin Christmas?" she challenged and for a moment Harm thought she was joking, that was until he saw the tears in her eyes.

"No, of course not, sweetheart," he said trying to pull her closer; he failed. "I was just playing with you."

"Well, it was a really mean thing to do," she replied, stepping away.

Harm grabbed her hand and tugged her gently back to him. "Mean?" he questioned and she nodded. "Well, I don't think it was any meaner than you preempting my surprise."

Mac looked up at him and saw the genuine disappointment on his face. "I had this whole speech that I've been practicing and then I wake up and you're already wearing it."

"Sorry," she said sheepishly. "If you still feel inclined to make your speech, I'll listen."

Smiling once more, Harm led Mac to the bed and asked her to sit, which she did. He grinned to himself before laughing.

"What's funny?" she asked watching as he tried to pull himself together.

"You know how when you have a big presentation to give, people tell you to imagine your audience naked..." he started before looking down at his own naked form.

Mac laughed: "Well, you always liked doing things a little differently to others."

"Let me get my robe," he said moving to the chair.

"I have no objections to what you're not wearing now," Mac said but he shook his head and pulled on his robe. "No, when we tell people of this historic moment, I do not want them to think of me sans clothing."

"And just who would we be telling?" she asked as he crossed back to her.

"Family...friends...children...grandchildren," he said before taking a deep breath.

"You're very optimistic there," she observed with a grin.

"Well, something tells me I already know the answer," he said feeling far more relaxed about this now.

"You know what my answer was before all this...perhaps I have changed my mind," she said in as serious a tone as she could muster.

"You haven't, have you?" he asked quickly.

"You'll have to ask to find out," she replied and he nodded.

Nodding and steeling himself with a deep breath, Harm popped the ring on the top of his own left ring finger.

"Mac...Sarah...Mac..." he started before shaking his head; he hadn't rehearsed the name part in all his practicing. "Mac," he started once more. "For a long time now, whenever I thought of my future, you were there. Whenever I dreamt of marriage you were always my wife. Whenever I dreamt of children, you were always their mother. I have become quite predictable; at least I believe so, because my answers all seem to be the same. Who is my best friend? You. Soul mate? You. Love of my life? You. Dream girl? You. You. You. Now, you might think this is all a bit rushed as we've only been together 'officially' for four months, but there is nothing rushed about it. All these thoughts, feelings, dreams, wishes did not start in the last four months...not even the last four years. Mac, you have been the one for me for so very long. There have been almighty obstacles in our way but, for better or worse, we kept finding our way around them and back to each other. I know, without a doubt, that you are the other half of me, the better half, and the reason for my existence. I want you and need you because you are my world, my absolute world. I cannot laugh, live or love if you are not alongside me. It has been a long journey to get from the Rose Garden to where we are today. Now, I am asking you the second most important question of my entire life..." He dropped to one knee in front of her and held out the ring. "Sarah MacKenzie, I love you so very much. Would you do me the absolute honour of becoming my wife?"

Taking her left hand in his, Harm held the ring between his right thumb and forefinger, both hands were trembling. "Please say 'yes'," he whispered when no answer came.

"Your second most important question?" she challenged, drawing her hand back slightly.

"My second most," he concurred with a nod.

"And what would be the most important question?" she asked, surprised this wasn't it.

"I believe I asked the most important question...or at least the most life-changing question...four months ago," he said confidently. One arched eyebrow from Mac and he continued quickly. "Four months ago I summoned up all my courage and asked the most beautiful woman in the world to let me into her life as something more than a friend. And to my utter delight ... and relief... she said yes."

"That was a very good answer," she said with a relieved smile. "I think it was a very important question too."

"Mac, without wanting to be pushy, I need to ask again...will you please marry me?" he said, his tone almost begging.

"Yes," she said in a breathless sigh and then watched as Harm slid the ring into position. Once in its rightful place, Harm kissed it before kissing her hand, wrist and working his way up to her mouth before standing up and kissing her tenderly.

Leaning down, Harm continued to kiss her until Mac edged back in the bed and laid down. Undoing the belt to his robe, Harm quickly followed suit but just as quickly Mac jumped up.

"Um...before we celebrate," Mac said tilting her head to the side. "I have something I'd like to say...if that's okay?"

"Of course, it's okay," Harm said sitting on the side of the bed. "Something you've been rehearsing?"

"Kind of," she replied stepping between his legs. "Okay," she said taking a breath as she looped her arms around his neck. "I love you so very much, Harm, and have done so for a long time now. You're right, we've only been 'officially' together four months but before that we had been the best of friends and the worst of enemies and sometimes even the worst of friends and the best of enemies. I don't know when it happened but I fell in love with you way back then and, most likely, I would have said yes to a proposal without us having been 'officially' together. When I was talking to your mother earlier she referred to herself as my mother-in-law and then, later on, questioned me as to why I didn't correct her. I told her it was because even though we hadn't discussed marriage, it was the only outcome for me...you were the only one for me. Harmon, there are not many things in this life that I am sure of...but I am sure of my love for you and your love for me. I know there will be many challenges in the years ahead. Without a doubt I know that we will have some huge arguments, after all, it's you and me. Unlike the past, however, I promise you that I won't run, won't hide and that making up will be incredible. I can't wait to be able to introduce you as my husband ... my love, my life, my everything."

It was all fun and excitement following the engagement and it made for an extra special Christmas Day. This was followed with several more days of high excitement until Harm figured he really needed to talk to his mom and still allow them more time in La Jolla in case things didn't go well. If that was the case, he really didn't want to leave soon after without having a chance to make things right. In the early afternoon, as he and Mac walked along the beach, he spoke of his plans to have the discussion after dinner and Mac had just nodded and held him a little tighter.

It wasn't just Harm making the plans and Trish had had a similar conversation with Frank and so it was that after dinner, Frank issued Mac with an invitation.

"Sarah, I am dying to try out the new ice cream parlour," he said, handing her a flyer. "It's a few blocks from here and open until late. Trish isn't really an ice-cream fan and I know Harm likes to pretend he only eats healthy. So, what's say you and I go and check it out...perhaps if it's to our liking we can convince the other two to come with us next time."

"Sounds like a wonderful plan," she said, squeezing Harm's leg under the table. "I'll just grab my jacket."

It didn't surprise her that Harm followed her upstairs and straight into her open arms.

"Obviously your mom wants to talk to you too," she said caressing his head.

"I can't believe I'm feeling this nervous," he said, inhaling the scent of her hair. "My heart feels like it's going to come out of my chest."

"Would it make it easier if I stayed?" she asked and he shook his head. "I didn't think so," she added kissing his head. "But I'll have my cell...call me if you need me, us, to come straight back."

"I will," he said nodding.

"And tonight I will be all yours...to hold you, kiss you, listen..." she said pulling back.

"Love me?" he questioned, pushing her hair back from her face.

"Whatever you need," she replied before kissing him briefly. "Okay," she continued stepping back. "This ice-cream is not going to eat itself."

Frank and Mac had been gone ten minutes before Harm could no longer stand the awkward silence and led his mother into the living room, sitting alongside her on the sofa. Taking her hand in his, he noticed it was trembling.

"You seem to be as nervous as I am, mom?" he said quietly as she squeezed his hand.

"I am definitely more nervous than I thought I would be," she admitted with a brief nod.

"What are you so nervous about?" he questioned, his eyes searching hers.

"Oh, that you'll hate me for the past and think I'm a basket case now... you know, the usual," she said, with a small, humourless chuckle.

"I have never, could never, hate you, mom!" he stated emphatically, grasping both her hands.

"Not now, but growing up..." she said before her voice faded.

"Not even then," he said. "There were times when I was very, very angry and other times when I hated the world, but never you...never," he implored.

"What about when Frank came into the picture? You can't say there wasn't animosity there," she said shaking her head.

"No, I can't," he admitted. "But it was Frank I hated...I still loved you, I was just very hurt and very angry."

"You know, I'm sorry that I wasn't a better mother to you," she said, swiping away a tear. "I'm sorry I couldn't find a way to get through to you...to appease your anger, to soothe your hurt."

"You did the best you could," he said, his own tears falling. "I wasn't the easiest, particularly as a teen."

"I know, believe me, I know," she said with a smile. "But I always thought if I tried harder, did better...maybe if Frank and I hadn't married..."

"Mom, you did your best...and I don't know if things would have been better or not if you hadn't married Frank, but, with the benefit of hindsight, I'm glad you did," he said, raising her hand and kissing it. "He is a wonderful man and has always been good to you, to us."

"Wow!" Trish said, sitting back a little. "I didn't think I'd ever hear you say such things."

"Well, I'm starting to see things a little differently these days," he said with a smile.

"Sarah is very good for you, Harmon," she said, patting his hand.

"That she is, mom, that she is," he agreed before taking a sip of water. "Mom," he started again nervously. "Mom...with all that has happened this year, to you, I have done a lot of thinking, and hoping, and praying..."

"Me too," Trish agreed, linking her fingers through his.

"And there are a few things I need to say...okay?" he asked, looking up at her.

"Okay," she said quietly, her nerves returning.

"I love you, mom. I know I don't say it often enough but I love you very, very much," he started, the lump in his throat compromising his voice.

"I love you too, son," she replied tearfully, squeezing his hand.

"I was blessed to have a mother like you, am blessed," he corrected himself, ignoring the tears rolling down his cheeks. "As difficult and obstreperous as I was, you never gave up on me, never, and for that I am eternally thankful. I am also very sorry that I hadn't told you that before," he added as he wiped away his mother's tears. "My whole life seemed to revolve around dad...missing him, searching for him, following in his footsteps, coming to terms with the news about him ... I just took it for granted that you would always be there...and you were. I am sorry I haven't been a better son, the son that you deserve. I threw myself into my career and while I thought about you often, I wasn't quick to pick up the phone and call you...and I am so sorry for that."

"Oh, Harm," was all Trish could manage through her sobs.

"When I originally made plans to come here for Christmas, I feared I was going to have to say goodbye to you...or at least to the you that I knew and loved...and it broke my heart," he cried. "I know I'm 41, mom, but I will never be ready to say goodbye to you."

Embracing each other warmly, they waited for the sobs to subside.

"Well, I am nowhere near ready to say goodbye to you either, Harmon," she said, pulling back and shaking her head. "Thank goodness the diagnosis was wrong and we get a second chance."

"Amen to that," Harm replied, leaning forward and kissing her cheek.

"Amen indeed."

After their very emotional discussion, Trish decided she would wind down with a bath while Harm decided to pound a few miles out along the beach. When the ice-cream connoisseurs returned they were a little concerned about the lack of noise but Mac saw a note on the table and smiled.

'Went well. Mom's in the bath, I've gone for a run.' Mac read it aloud and Frank smiled before heading up to check on his wife.

Mac headed back out and walked down to the beach, surprised and concerned to find her sailor lying on his back on the sand.

"Harm!" she said running over to him.

"I'm okay," he replied, looking over to her before grinning. "Just relaxing."

"Okay if I relax with you?" she asked and lay on her side next to him when he nodded. "How are you doing?"

"Well...very well," he said with a relieved smile. "It was very hard...very emotional...but I am so very glad I did it."

"Good, I'm glad," she said leaning down and kissing his head. "Did you go for a run?"

"Nope," he said with a contented sigh. "Intended too but came out and saw the first star and thought I'd just lie down and gaze up at the heavens."

"Okay..." she said slowly, a little concerned about him. "Did you make a wish on it?"

"Nope," he replied, turning on his side to face her. "I was saying thank you." He leaned forward and kissed her deeply.

"Thank you for what?" she questioned, still concerned about his wellbeing.

Harm looked at her. He was saying thank you for the reprieve with his mother's health. Thank you for the opportunity to tell her how he felt. Thank you for Mac being with him, for agreeing to marry him, for loving him. Thank you for a future which was looking a lot brighter than it had been not so long ago; a future filled with love and family.

"Thank you for what?" she repeated, stroking his cheek.

Leaning forward he kissed her before whispering, "For my answered prayers."


End file.
